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Madonna’s daughter Lourdes, who I guess doesn’t have a last name, thinks she can pull her own weight on the big screen. She has just recently enrolled in Manhattan’s Professional Children’s School. This school was made famous by Macaulay Culkin and Scarlett Johansson. Let’s face it, Lourdes, which is one of the most bizarre names I have ever heard, is not going to grow up and become the next Scarlett Johansson.

Becoming the next Macaulay Culkin may be within her sights. I don’t usually critique women who are under the age of 18, but I think the most obvious thing for this kid to do before attempting to try acting would be to shave that heinous uni brow. That thing is massive. Another thing to do before heading to the big screen is change her first name. Getting an actual second name wouldn’t hurt her much either. But I don’t think Lourdes would become the next Madonna of the big screen. When my daughter wanted to try acting I said,” you can once you finish your vegetables.” After forcing broccoli down her throat with a pencil, she said that she didn’t want to do acting and didn’t want to have anything to do with me for the rest of her life. Fucking kids, changing their minds every 10 seconds.

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Links that prefer blogging over acting

Syphilicious is back- IBBB

Britney Spears got hacked! - Allie Is Wired

Kate Moss tit slip- Drunken Stepfather

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Amy Winehouse will never put her top on again- yeeeah

Looks who’s blogging now. That sounds like a good name for a movie. - d-listed

Miley Cyrus, still a slut. - Celebrity Dirty Laundry

I Don’t Want Your Life is over… or is it?- I Don’t Want Your Life

Katie Holmes and Angelina Jolie should become hookers- Geno’s World

Greasy Bear! Oh how I have missed Greasy Bear! - The Bastardly

Tara Reid, still in rehab- notorious news

Elisabetta Canalis: Bellisimo- Attu World

Even though in this picture she looks like a haggard $3 whore, don’t appearances deceive you. Katie Holmes is one rich little bitch. According to the Telegraph, she dumped almost $14 million in 6 months since moving to New York for Broadways All My Sons. Now the UK magazine goes into great detail about how Katie has spent on clothes, lofts and most of all Suri. But it doesn’t exactly say where this money is coming from.

All of this leads me to one conclusion, Katie Holmes is possibly the most talented gold digger in Hollywood/New York. I mean that Dawson’s Creek money ran out a long time ago. And since then she has been in about 3 b-list movies. Now here she is whoring it up on All My Sons. Basically the conclusion is that she is spending like mad because it is not her money she is spending. I am not sure what the latest Forbes estimates on how much money Tom Cruise has are, but let’s put it this way, enough. Congrats Katie you will spend a lot of rich happy years with Tom and I hope your little ankle biter will grow up to be a bigger gold digger than you. If that is possible.

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Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson flew back to L.A. yesterday but the flight was not a smooth one. During the flight they had such a big fight that Lohan was inconsolable and the flight attendant even asked if she would like to disembark. This comes after the fight they had at Sam’s Hollywood hills home.

I hope the two split. Lindsay’s late night romps with Hollywood men seem to be much more fun to write about and you get the guys perspective on how great it was to sleep with Lindsay Lohan. Here is Lindsay at the airport being forced to remove her socks because we all know she likes to smuggle cocaine in those bitches. Enough about SamRo, she is a dog and deserves to die. Here are some Lindsay Lohan bikini pics to get your mind off that boy/troll Lohan is dating.

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Links that are single and happy

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Chloe Sevigny is in a bikini- Drunken Stepfather

Pink comes crawling back to the only guy who would ever fuck her- Allie Is Wired

Another d-lister goes to the clink- yeeeah

Kelly Clarkson has a new cd out- notorious news

Erica Hill is the hot slut of the day- d-listed

Stacey Keibler is a tool. But she looks good. - The Bastardly

Paris Hilton and George Clooney. A match made in hell. - Geno’s World

Katy Perry is wearing a sexy outfit- I Don’t Want Your Life

A d-lister dies- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

There are 77 days until spring and, honestly, I’m counting the seconds and freezing my balls off. That’s why it warms my heart to see spoiled rich girls like Kristin Cavallari [Ed. note: OMG her ass is perfect. -F] in skimpy bikinis prancing around Malibu while the rest of us dig our cars out of the snow. Am I bitter? No. I’m too cold to be bitter. Too cold and too full of the heavenly spirit of the Lord. The only thing better than a spoiled hot rich-bitch frolicking in Malibu while our economy fails and we wage expensive wars in the desert would be if Kristin Cavallari would sleep with me. And give me $2500.00 US dollars. Yes. Yes, I think the world would be a much better place then. (images)

I understand when people want to be in tip top shape for their health, but sometimes it gets to a point where you are beating a dead horse. And the dead horse in this case is Fergie Fug. She tells People magazine that she has been working out like mad so she looks good at her wedding. What she should be doing is shopping around at plastic surgeons to put another face on that meth grill of hers.

Her body is perfect, and I love her lovely ladies lumps. The thing is, she looks great no matter how much she exercises. She is being interviewed about her workout routine as if she just had a baby. People magazine goes on to quote her and write details about how she was making out with her fiance at some L.A. nightclub, but nobody wants to hear about that. Mostly because she has a dragged look on her face as if she has just spent the last 3 days wide awake because of that meth amphetamine we all know she loves to smoke.

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